The One Where I Write About Things I Would Never Normally Write About For You

The vet called to check on Mocha again. This was the second call in a week where I was asked about her poop habits. This is not a comfortable thing for me to talk about EVER, but it is necessary because she was definitely not ok when we took her in a week ago. She had been having diarrhea for a week and since she can’t tell us what’s wrong we had to intervene and find someone who could interpret her symptoms and give us a plan to help her get better. After nearly a week’s worth of antibiotics, probiotics, and special food we are happy to see our twelve year old lab showing signs of improvement.

A couple weeks ago I had a follow-up appointment with my new gastroenterologist where we discussed my personal bathroom habits for what seemed like an eternity. This was after the upper endoscopy and colonoscopy tests I had a few days before Christmas. I don’t normally talk to ANYONE about these things, but my severe gluten intolerance issues have forced me to discuss things with a stranger I would never have a few years ago. My doctor actually pulled up a graphic of different kinds of poop on his computer screen and asked me to point out the stuff that looked like mine so he could better assess my condition and come up with a plan to help me feel better. I wished the earth would have opened up and swallowed me in that moment, but it didn’t. As humiliating as all of that poop talk has been I am ever so thankful that there are people who go to medical school to study the gross things so I can feel better.

Where in the world would we be without people willing to ask questions and talk about the awful things we encounter as humans? I honestly have a hard time looking my gastroenterologist in the eye after he tells me about the five colonoscopies he performed earlier in the day. If not for the severity of my symptoms I would never darken the doors of his office because it’s just too embarrassing to be vulnerable in that way. It’s a last resort because if I don’t address my symptoms my life could be cut short over something that could have been caught earlier if I had just pushed through the embarrassing stuff. That’s irresponsible and my family deserves more than that.

Why am I even writing about poop? I guess because I’m super grateful for those people who are willing, dare I say even a little eager, to wade into our yucky stuff and help us feel better. I feel that way about the spiritual and emotional stuff too. I have been a recipient of generous healers whenever I have surrendered to the process of being vulnerable. We don’t have to keep suffering in silence. There are people who have been gifted by God with a desire to help us.

What comes out of you (not just physically!) is a pretty good indicator of what’s going on inside of you. If you have been wondering if it’s time to seek counseling or make a doctor’s appointment and are looking for some kind of sign…THIS IS YOUR SIGN. Make the phone call. Do it. Stop waiting. You are worth it.

**I originally wrote this back in February 2019 and felt very strongly that I should finally post it. Mocha has since passed away. We miss her every single day.**

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