One of the reasons I didn’t blog yesterday was because I had zero time to do so. The other reason is that anything I could have written would have screamed:
“NEEDS MORE MEDICATION!!!!”
Yep. It’s one of those weeks.
I may have mentioned before that we are in the process of getting our house ready to sell. Now that I’ve been working on this for a few weeks, I honestly believe that giving birth might be easier and way less painful. Seriously.
It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if we lived very sterile lives. We don’t. We have lived in this house for more than eight years. Our habits and patterns are well worn. It’s nearly impossible to imagine our home any different. And that’s what’s had me so worked up over the past few days. Our realtor made arrangements for a professional ‘home stager’ to come over this morning. I spent a lot of energy trying to anticipate what this person would want to see and clearing away what she would not. After a while I realized I was consumed by needing to please someone I’d never even met. Hello, my name is Nichole and I am a recovering people pleaser.
The past couple of days I’ve been having anxiety BIG TIME. When my husband asked me if I knew what the source of the anxiety was, I wanted to taze him. Instead, I began to list off the obvious. He tried to remind me that God was in control and that it was all going to be OK. I didn’t feel like anyone was in control and it was not going to be OK ever again. Aren’t you glad I didn’t blog?
My most honest prayers happen in the shower. This morning while I was pouring out my heart to the Lord, he reminded me that He is in control and that I needed to get a grip. I decided to start praying for the family who is going to buy our house. Somewhere out there (beneath the pale moonlight) is a family who has been searching for the right home and they need me to get a grip so I can get on with His plan. As I began to confess my crazy and pray for people I will most likely never meet, the anxiety melted away. I will most likely need to continue to do this until we are relocated.
I’m not alone in this great big plan. Last night my guys all chipped in to help move stuff and vacuum, clean bathrooms. It’s not all up to me even though it feels like it is. I’m not alone. I’m thankful that when I take a minute to shift my focus from ‘me’ being right in the center of everything it becomes clear that I’m not alone. Grace surrounds me.
I’d love to hear from you today. Have you ever sold a house? Did you need a therapist? People need to know. Just sayin’…